The Confidence Connection: How Eye Contact Can Change Everything

Let’s Talk for a Minute

If last week was about how you shake someone’s hand, this week is about what happens next. Because once your hand lets go, the eyes take over.

I’ve spent half my life behind counters, on hiring panels, and in kitchens full of chaos. I’ve watched thousands of interactions play out in the wild. And I can tell you this: eye contact separates the ones who are ready from the ones who are just hoping to be.

It’s such a small thing, right?
But that tiny flicker of connection tells people everything they need to know — confidence, respect, awareness, honesty.

You can fake a smile. You can memorize a script.
But you can’t fake being present.

Soft Skill Spotlight (For Students)

“Eye Contact Hacks: Look Confident Without Being Awkward”

When I owned my Cold Stone stores, most of the kids we hired were quiet, but one kid stood out above all. He was a band kid who was hard-working, polite, and got good grades, but he never looked anyone in the eye. Customers would hand him cash, and he’d look down at the register like it might bite him. 

So one day I made him a deal. “Every time you take an order,” I said, “I want you to look the customer in the eye, smile, and say their order back to them. I bet you your tips will go up, and I will match whatever tips you earn that day as a bonus.” 

At first, he didn’t believe me and looked terrified. But after about a week, something changed. He started smiling more. People smiled back. His confidence grew every shift he worked. And sure enough, his tips nearly doubled.

Here’s what he learned and taught himself through that process — and what I want you to try:

1. Start small. Practice eye contact for just 3 seconds. You can do it in the mirror or with a friend. I always did it in school when teachers would speak. I would make eye contact and nod to show I was paying attention. Just briefly.
   

2. Pair it with purpose. Look people in the eyes when you say hello, take an order, or thank someone. You can practice this at home.
   

3. Don’t stare — connect. Eye contact isn’t a power move. It’s about paying attention. And it's awkward if you stare too long.
   

4. Remember this truth: Confidence isn’t the absence of fear. It’s choosing connection anyway.

Pro Tip: Most people avoid eye contact because they’re scared of being seen. Don’t be. That’s exactly how people start to remember your name.

Parent Prep Corner

“How to Help Your Teen Build Real Confidence (and Not Just Talk About It)”

Parents, here’s something I learned the hard way:
Confidence can’t be handed down. It’s built through moments — hundreds of small, awkward, imperfect moments that add up over time.

Here’s a simple exercise I do with my kids:

Tonight, sit down with your family. Set a timer for 30 seconds, or for added fun, go untimed until the first person laughs. Look each other in the eyes and don’t talk. Just notice what happens. It’ll feel weird at first. You’ll laugh. But that’s the point.

Then, talk about it. Ask:

• What made it uncomfortable?
  

• How can we make it easier next time?

When you teach your child that discomfort is okay — that it’s just growth in disguise — you’re not only building confidence, you’re building resilience.

Pro Tip: You can’t protect them from every awkward moment, but you can give them the tools to handle them with grace.

Story from the Road

When I was 21, I sat across from a potential investor in a coffee shop, where I was poorly attempting to pitch my first big idea - a privately owned ski and snowboard school for backcountry riders. My voice cracked halfway through, and I could feel sweat forming under my collar. I was terrified and had no idea what I was doing.

At one point the guy stopped me and cut me off, looked at me straight in the eye, and said, “You nervous?”

I stopped talking, paused, and said, “Yeah, a little.”

He smiled and laughed. “Good. That means you care.”

We locked eyes for a second — not in some weird alpha way — just two people acknowledging the gravity of the moment.

He didn’t write me a check or anything, but he did end up giving me advice I’ll never forget, and that’s the day I realized something that’s carried me through every restaurant, every startup, and every conversation since:

People don’t need you to be perfect. They just need to believe you’re real.

Eye contact is one of the most important ways you show them that.

App Pulse

As most of you know, the app officially launched back in May, and every week more teens are hopping in, building resumes, and taking soft skill lessons like this one.

We’re getting messages from students who want more job options and tools to help them land their first job, and from parents who finally have a way to coach, not nag. This has been great feedback, and we truly appreciate it. We’re working on updates and are hoping to ahve the new wesbite out soon.

But if I’m being honest, we still need help.

We need more employers willing to list real jobs for first-time workers. And we’re looking for a technical co-founder who believes in this mission as much as we do.

If that’s you — or someone you know — please reach out. And if you’re a parent or teen who wants to see more features in the app, hit reply and tell me. You’re not talking to a support bot here — you’re talking to me, Josh.

A Note From Me

I know what it feels like to walk into a room and not know where to look or what to say.
I know what it feels like to fake confidence when you don’t feel it.
And I know what it feels like to fail in front of people you wanted to impress.

That’s why I started MyFirstJob.
Not to build an app.
To build a bridge between what kids know and what the real world expects.

So whether you’re a teen just starting out or a parent trying to prepare your kid for the world, I hope this helps you take one small step forward this week.

Look people in the eyes.
Show up.
Be real.

Everything else can be learned.

— Josh Noreen
Founder, MyFirstJob

Check out the app at app.myfirstjob.com